I’m so glad I’m seeing my therapist today, and making another doctors appointment. I woke up choking about an hour ago (fuck knows why) and I thought I was losing my mind with terror. I sort of slacked off on the medication front, I just haven’t gotten around to scheduling another appointment to get it taken care of, now I realize that it is mandatory.
I honestly believe that medication can help some people, not EVERYONE should have it, I agree that it is given out too freely. But when you legitimately have clinical depression or an anxiety disorder, not just an irrational bullshit that you’ve developed over a short period that therapy and a change of atmosphere can cure, than it could help. The people that have become addicted and talk shit about medication (that I’ve noticed) are the ones that never needed it in the first place. So just because you don’t think medication is the answer doesn’t mean you’re right, it probably means you’re prejudice because you had a bad experience or you heard shit from people who had a bad experience. You can sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up too.
My mother has very, VERY severe depression, she wasn’t on medication until her late 30, early 40’s. If she doesn’t take that medication living with her is hell on earth. THAT is how I know medication works, if you actually need it.
I don’t think many people truly understand anxiety disorders, the depth of it is greater than you could ever imagine. I get people telling me “Just think happy thoughts! Just focus on something else, make something, DO something.” No, you really don’t understand. When my mind is in that place, when I feel sick and I’m afraid I’m going to throw up, there is NOTHING that can penetrate that, not one single thing. You could talk to me and I wouldn’t hear a word I would be so consumed by it. There is no happy thought, there is no quiet place, there is NOTHING but that until it passes. Clinical depression and anxiety are things you are born with, they’re imbalances in your brain that don’t have a fucking off and on switch that you can fuck around with.
That’s one of the reasons it pisses me off when people talk about their so called “mental problems” half the people who state EVERYWHERE that they have depression or anxiety are full of shit. I don’t believe for one second these posers could even begin to comprehend anything close to what I feel. So sit THE FUCK down.
I am pissed and I have a lot of fucking feelings this morning. If anything I’ve said pisses you off, good.